Duran Duran Live

My sister took me to see Duran Duran on my birthday.

It was fantastic, because:

1. We've kinda had a rough year, my sister and I, for reasons I won't get into here. It was really wonderful to spend an evening with her. I love her.

2. This red-headed percussionist - she mesmerized me!

3. The audience was 80% comprised of women-my-age, and I felt cameraderie with them all, at least theoretically. This is so uncharacteristic of me, and it felt new and great.

4. One song they played - Ordinary World (video at end) - was special, for two reasons:

*It was a song that meant something to me when I first had kids...about leaving my old life sans kids and figuring out the new one. I realized it's apropos again - I'm figuring out life with grown kids, how to let go, what I do now. So great.

*During the song I saw a man a few rows ahead of me stand, offer his hand to his date (wife?), and they went to the side and slow danced. I'm not sure why, but I was really moved, even teared up a bit.
This younger guy a few seats down caught my eye (who had been catching my eye earlier, too), and smiled at me -- we'd both seen the dancing couple, and we were both just feeling/sharing the sweetness.
(And then I gasped and wondered how a young guy -probably 30s - could be smiling at me, but I killed all my thoughts so this sweet moment wouldn't be ruined)

4. Turns out Constitution Hall is just a few blocks from where I work, so we parked on the street by my office. It was great being there late at night after the show, with all the people spilling onto 18th street,  singing duran duran songs and laughing.

luctor et emergo (WendyBird)

I found a blog about a person with RA who also runs.


Here is the first quote she ever posted:

In spite of illness, in spite even of the archenemy sorrow, one can remain alive long past the usual date of disintegration if one is unafraid of change, insatiable in intellectual curiosity, interested in big things, and happy in small ways.


**Edith Wharton**


Here is a quote of hers, from her first post, explaining the blog:

RA gave me the incentive to reflect, running gives me the time to reflect. I think most people reflect after 60 because they find themselves retired with time on their hands. The kids are grown and pressing needs just don't seem so pressing anymore. To achieve this earlier in life takes some sort of jarring event like an illness or accident, either to yourself or someone close to you. This is why I can never look on RA as a disaster; it has inspired me to do so much and enabled me to become so strong, much sooner than I would have otherwise. I would never wish bad events on the people, but I think we need them sometimes to remind us of the important points in life. Family, friends, love, and fun, need to be on our minds far more often than rivals, obstacles, and irritation

Brimming with Optimism

I'm 43 today, or as Annie Lamott would say, I'm 30-13. (I know it's Anne, I think I started calling her Annie because of Dillard. Now I call her Annie because I like to pretend that we're good friends, like how Angelina's friends actually call her Angie.)

I'm suspicious that people might be praying for me, because I'm feeling optimistic, which has been uncharacteristic of me for the last few weeks.

43 is an auspicious year:
1. It's a prime number
2. It's Troy Polamalu's jersey number
3. It's the number of things listed on one of my favorite sites, 43things

So I'm going to make a 43 Things list just for this year:

This will be the year I:
1. Start jogging again, no matter how slowly or poorly or whatever.
2. Make that video about the Birthday Girls (my mom's lovely, lovely friends)
3. Grow a lot of lavender, and harvest it, and hang it everywhere to dry until the smell of lavender reminds people of my house
4. log 100 hours of language learning
5. Read the Bible, and then some (must-reads spiritually speaking, apocryphal books)
6. Walk my dogs regularly.i.e. be a better dog owner
7.  Forgive people, like that Year of Jubilee idea (releasing people from debts)
8. Let people take pictures of me and quit lying and telling them I think it takes a piece of my soul when really I'm just self-conscious (THIS IS HARD TO EVEN WRITE. I don't know about this one.)
9. Dance somewhere at least once
10. participate in that Write-A-Novel-in-a-Month thing that all my friends do.
11. Make scrapbooks of all my 'nostalgia' stuff, even if it doesn't look nearly as good as the Creative Memories people.
12. Go somewhere awesome with my Mom and everyone: like Dollywood or Nashville or something.
13. Get acupuncture.
14. Wear a bathing suit at the beach.
15. create/obtain/whatever it takes to own a treadmill desk.
16. Cook food and bake food, following Catherine's example (when she's hungry, she looks up recipes and gathers ingredients and plays classy music and actually cooks good food. it's so HEALTHY, in every way.)
17. Take a class.
18. will be a GRACEFIEND.
19. Write letters (I kinda started this,but I want to keep it up)
20. either have one of those houses that's already reasonably clean, or quit caring that my house isn't
21. Go to 34th street at Christmas time
22. exercise my gift (which i believe is encouragement) intentionally, often, joyfully
23. stretch my imagination to include the idea that guys can be nice and maybe even trustworthy, but you can still be really cautious about these guys and i don't have to pretend it's likely or anything, just possible, like a science fiction story.
24. go somewhere awesome with my sister for her birthday
25. pray
26. accessorize
27. manage my RA holistically
28. finish my braces vlog
29. start my new vlog (jabba the hutt)
30. assume better things and act accordingly
31. read daily
32. use my commute better
33. hang the rita hayworth picture up at work
34. hang the rita hayworth picture up in my room
35. start wearing GLOVES as a fashion accessory (hides my hands, looks cool)
36. go to at least 3 art shows (scottie's was wonderful)
37. start wearing more makeup, like that lady from Pittsburgh encouraged me to
38. intercede
39. write my dreams down
40. remember: what i love doing, the joy of my salvation, the good things
41. my family: start some traditions and actually enjoy the holidays (i was always bad at this...common in circumstances like ours - holidays sucking - but i want to redeem this..i can feel like now that they're grown, it's too late. but it's not..)

42. my family: legacy
43. love people well

100X watched, still great

My first GIF

Catherine, from her and K's short film

Cat's about to leave/arrive

Everyone's leaving for their first year of college. My niece went yesterday. So this means I have license to be pretty sappy and emotional and sentimental for a while.


All the kids who graduated in 2011 are making facebook statuses --wistful paragraphs with the people tagged who they're going to "miss SOOOO much" sprinkled throughout.

Here's my kid's status:

Now there are some who would comfort me and say, "It's good she's ready to go! You want them to fly!", and I guess I should spin this as positively as possible.

But herattitude doesn't hurt me the way they think it does. Because I think I understand that it's not just me she's leaving.

Reflection:
You move your family, looking for safety and high-rated schools. You pray, you hear nothing. You crave a fresh start, the time is ripe, and so you go.
And later, too much later to do anything about it, you wonder: Would diversity of many kinds (not simply racial - also economic, religious, even personality drive) have been better for your kids? (Diversity of *any* kind...at all?)

You make all kinds of decisions that have far-reaching, deep impact on your kids. You make them in a hailstorm, half blind. You make them without the input of another person who is completely, on a DNA cellular level, invested in your kids. (Thank God for my mom, she's as close as it can get to that.)
And again, later -- too late to divert -- you realize you were wrong sometimes.

Reflection:
She contended with many things. She is startlingly perceptive, and sometimes it seems to me that people's motives are just laid bare before her. Naturally, she struggles with cynicism.
I want, I pray, if I could I'd will this: She'll realize that those things made her, not limited her. She'll realize that she was lead by love the entire time. She'll choose joy.

And truthfully, I'm glad she's not the type whose status is full of cliche and empty promises to stay in touch.
She's spending time with the people who matter to her. Anything she's telling them isn't being done with twitter or facebook, it's with real conversation. And I'm one of those people.

Overheard

This morning, I overheard this conversation between two security guards in my building. One was an older man (1), the other younger (2). The topic was marriage.

(2): I love being married.

(1): I've been married 18 years now.

(2): That's good.

(1): 18 years, that's right.

(2): Yeah, I love it. Everyday. It puts me at *ease*, you know?

(1): Yep.

It seemed ingenuous - they were just talking. It amazed me.

Playlist

Minimize Youtube, wear headphones, and instantly improve my attitude about work.

Getting through my day, one song at a time:

Visions of you - Jah Wobble

House of the Rising Sun -- Sinead (cool cover!!!)

Strawberry Swing - Coldplay

Nightswimming - REM

Sweetness Follows - REM

((NOSTALGIA TIME))

Nothing Compares to U - Sinead

Ordinary World - Duran Duran

Save a Prayer - Duran Duran

If you were here -- thompson twins

Love Vigilantes -- New Order

Every Little Counts -- New Order

Three Days - Jane's Addiction

Classic Girl - Jane's Addiction

Love is Alive - Gary Wright

Sundown -- Gordon Lightfoot

Down on Main Street - Bob Seger

verdi cries -- 10000 maniacs ((this is so beautiful it makes me start crying))

carry on my wayward son -- kansas

linger -- cranberries

prayer for you -- texas ((THIS IS A GREAT SONG))

life's what you make it -- talk talk

getting over you -- david guetta ( (there's no getting over this song for me))

love the way you lie - eminem

------

she's a beauty -- the tubes

your love -- the outfield

Elf, Forrest, and Jesus

A friend on facebook sent me a message about the movie Elf:
She was reading John 8, and it hit her that Buddy was like Jesus...there's more. I'll edit this if she gives permission.

For now, I'll say that I admit I'd never thought of Buddy the Elf as a Christ type, but I was thinking about it, and one of his qualities stood out clearly: He's loving. He's ingenuously, unconditionally, completely loving. The way he responds to a father who abandoned him, a boss and coworkers who are mean to him, and everyone who doesn't understand him -- it's always love.

It reminded me of my first pastor and his wife, who recommended Forrest Gump for the same reason. Jenny couldn't handle that kind of love (maybe she didn't think she deserved it?), but even after she abandons him and comes back, he accepts her fully. Love. My first pastor's wife, Sue, said that maybe the only way a film could get away with showing that kind of radical love was to house it in a mentally challenged person...(or maybe a naive elf?)

A friend of a friend was dying from cancer, and was a bitter person because of things that had happened in a church she belonged to. She told my friend, "I hate God!! Jesus, well -- Jesus is good. But I can't stand God."
I think people always kneejerk respond to this kind of statement with a lesson on the trinity -- I probably did when I heard this story. But I never will again. A person very close to me said this same idea recently. Because I know more about this person, I have more understanding:

They feel like certain things that they've had to endure were allowed by God (they're correct..he had the power to stop all of them, and he didn't). So God allowed her to be hurt.
And Jesus is the one who feels our pain fully...hurts when we do...he can, because he actually knows what it means to be human. So he's the one whose comfort is meaningful.

This person understands the concept of the trinity (as the dying woman probably did)....She's not having a lapse in theology. She's in pain. And one member of the Godhead didn't prevent this pain, and another is trying to comfort her through it. So her statement makes sense to me.

So for right now, I'm trying to think, in addition to the conventional WWJD wisdom: What would Forrest do? What would Buddy do?

5 Reasons Why this was the Best Sermon Series I've Heard this Year

1. The abundance of Scripture

There was Scripture read, referenced, even recited. The cool part: unapologetically.

(Explanation: My church is sensitive to those who might be new to church or uncomfortable with church. Sometimes, this has taken the form of almost apologizing when a lot of Scripture is used in a sermon. Our pastor will prepare us in advance, like a teacher might if they're giving an involved lecture, and they're worried they might lose some of the students to boredom. It's funny, because when he says that, it's usually a signal for me that I'm going to really like the sermon. For this sermon, there was never that pre-emptive apology, and I was glad! Besides the fact that this pastor is a really gifted and engaging communicator who casts a wide net when he preaches anyway, it's compelling simply because it's the Word of God, given fully and in context.))

2. The back-story given

The first week, the text was Isaiah 6 (which starts, "in the year that King Uzziah died"). We were given Uzziah's history, so we interpreted the passage in light of that life. (Uzziah started well, finished poorly)

The second week, we were given theories on when Paul may have had that vision/revelation he refers to in 2 Corinthians 12. It was in Acts, when he got stoned by the crowd in Lystra.

Sometimes the thing that really hits you is something hidden in these back stories, so I love when sermons include them. Plus, I learn something new.


3. The overall definition of Worship

We were encouraged to 'Focus on the magnificence of God' -- I needed to hear this. I need to hear it again and again. Magnify God. Focus off of self, on Him.

He added to this, too -- he ended with the part in Romans that talks about offering our whole self as a spiritual act of worship. But the initial definition was good for me, because I've been so far off.


4. Communion.

We don't take communion often, because of the size of our church (I think.) But today, the church was as full as ever, and maybe it was a logistical challenge, but it really didn't seem that way. They added a worship song, and you made communion an extension of worship. They let you take it at your own pace, so you could prepare privately, and take when you were ready.

5. The preeminence of Jesus, the exclusivity of Jesus was proclaimed with clarity and strength.

It was a really powerful moment. He spoke verses from Romans, and ended with the verse in Hebrews that talks about Jesus being the radiance of God's glory, and the exact representation of His being.
It was one of those times when I feel like cheering as if I'm at a game, and we just scored.

You can listen here