KikiiiiiiiiiiDates! Preview of Episode 15

Hey kiddies, possibly an imminent bike ride!!! (Linus the cute and funny one with the blaring difference in belief. Because of the difference, you know that some of my friends are asking, "WHYYYY?" to which I answer "1. Cute and funny. 2. Bike. Duh.")

And maybe it's also a little bit to help me move on from Jasper.

J & I exchanged very brief email,  in which I addressed some hard and confusing stuff that happened the last time we were together, to which he didn't really respond. Well, maybe he did a little. The closest he came was something like, "I hope it wasn't damaging."
Smh at such a weak, impotent apology....Written in the passive voice (No direct "I -verb-ed you and I am sorry.")...
I apologized for my part, and not in an oblique, wimpy way, either.

He did tell me some good personal news about himself. It related directly to advice I had given him from time to time about a personal issue. I was happy to read that. And I also thought about what a moron he is to break up, because I give stellar advice (when I'm certain about something.)

So,  re: Jasper,  I vacillate between feeling super sad, and feeling like, "Pshh. Good luck finding a person who will put up with your unique array of BS."

Usually the second, powerful feelings happen after I am buoyed up by the encouragement:  L&C, my sister, YOU GUYS (Hilldweller!!!), my IRL pals, and of course, mom. I'm gonna spend at least 1/2 mile of our walk talking to Lil Kiki about it today, haha.

And truth is, I am just hurt. I have a unique array of BS myself.
Maybe weird to say this, but I just felt 'right' with Jasper. Maybe that's bad. As Hilldweller says: What if it's providential protection? (Not being with J)
All of it's irrelevant anyway, except insofar as it helps the learning.

So, onward~

I'll let you guys know how the bike ride goes!
Linus used to race, btw!

The perception, it is wrong, mile after mile

This matches my mood right now. #Melancholia

Kikiiiiiiii Dates! Episode 14: Karl and Linus

Still trying to break down the concept of "Chemistry". So elusive!!
Maybe it's a formula?  (Physical Attraction + Connection = Chemistry?)

In "The Main" by Trevanian, there is a young policeman who meets a girl and feels he's in love within weeks. He feels a little silly, and is confiding in his seasoned, gruff mentor, LaPointe.
While it's not his way to disabuse the young man of the notion that he is ridiculous, and so says nothing reassuring whatsoever-- LaPoint does understand and sympathize. (In his mind), LaPointe reflects on how he felt when he met his wife, how he loved her almost immediately.
I remember this line: "How long does it really take?"

I'm finding the answer to be:  Not nearly as long as you'd think. You just have to be willing to be honest with yourself.

Karl

We went on a bona-fide date:
Wonderful event.  Amazing food. Either honestly couldn't have been better.

Karl is smart and kind and interesting.
And yet, conversation felt like work.


Linus

Linus is a new one - There are some (surely dealbreaking) differences, but I want to meet him anyway, and he wants to meet me. So we do.
Linus is:

• Really cute
• Funny
• a motorcyclist!!!!!

Good conversation, even about our differences. 

One very cool coincidence. 

Probably a bike ride in my future, and probably a friend.

Joylist! Sept 2012

1. MY iPHONE
I love it so much I want to take it behind a middle school and get it pregnant.
And it's just a 4.
And I am probably only using it to 10% of its capability.
With it, I:

• Call ppl
• Play Scramble with Friends (I'm good compared to everyone but Cat)
• Play Words with Friends (I'm pretty good)
• Play Draw Something (Surprisingly terrible at this. Poor Miguel (only person I play) )
• Listen to music
• Check all my social media
• Surf web
• Connect to wifi's with ease
• Hold it with one hand and text!
• iMessage ppl w/ iPhones for free
• EMOJI EMOJI EMOJI EMOJI
• Use super cool new apps to get fit: RunKeeper and MyFitnessPal
• Watch how I can prove how I feel, USING MY iPHONE:

2.  Related to 1 but deserving it's own point in this Joylist:
The app called "RUNKEEPER"

It uses the GPS in my phone to track how far I run, my avg pace, how many calories I'm burning.
Then it posts the data with a map of the run, and tweets a link! If I had a 'street team' we could all compete. I'm currently tracking their hashtag on twitter and considering asking random ppl to start a street team. I'm trying to get iPhone friends to use it, too.

My profile:
http://runkeeper.com/user/KikiGetsFit/profile
I can't adequately express how much I love this app. And no, Runkeeper isn't paying me either.


3.  These ppl I used to do Bible study with contacted me and want to start again. Out of the blue, and at just the right time.

4. Orchid highlights.
I got them. Jenni is the best. I still want to do an entry on her alone.
I'm getting such a mixed reaction to them.
Generally, young people and creative people love them.
Conservative people hate them.
I am not sure about how men feel about them, and for right now I don't care.
I think Cat and Lucas like them.
Me? I LOVE THEM.

5.  Here, this will help you when you make unusual hair choices, or just want to be yourself in a sea of dissenters, or are surrounded by d-bags, and probably other situations as well. You're welcome.

Dating Kiki 2.0: Karl IRL

Impression after our first meeting? He's pretty cool.

• Accomplished in his field
• Great eyewear
• We're the same MBTI type, ha!
• The awesome Nepalese barista  at the coffee place knows him! Even took Karl to some exotic place for dinner. I said to the A.N.B, "Hey man, you take your coffee customers to dinner? When is it my turn?"

 ASIDE: 

Just look at how my flirting skills are improving!!!! 

To review:  ANB is that one w/ whom I had an extreme flirting fail earlier this year...went something like :

ANB:  Where have you been! I've missed you! (I'd been at training.)

Me:  (red face, brain exploding) Well, I didn't miss you!

ANB: (puzzled expression) Well....coffee of the day, then?

Me: (nods, avoids further eye contact)

Now just look at me. "When is it my turn?" followed by laughlaughlaugh. Practically asked him to dinner.   #SWAG , middle aged category

BACK TO KARL

We walked around DC for the duration of my lunch break, and then a little more. Time went superfast, even despite the fact that I didn't change out of my heels and my feet really hurt. ((Vanity, sheesh. ))

We are both interested in collaboration, people, personality assessment...that sort of thing.

He told me about a life goal of his that he admitted he's only told 1 other person! I felt very privileged. So in return, I told him an idea of how to keep that goal alive...an idea that I share with relatively few people.

Interesting conversation...and I hope we stay friends....but I'm not sure if there will be more 'dates'. 

#IAmPatheticButHeIsNotJasper  

In the meantime, we're now playing Scramble w/ Friends and Words w/ Friends. ( and I'm killing it, haha, but can't tell if he's just letting me win!)

Dating Kiki 2.0 - Episode 12 - Karl Preview

Pasting here something I posted on a MBTI site. The thread was asking if my type (ENFP - we're know for being able to 'read' people) ever has a lapse in that ability, and how it makes us feel, etc.
My answer:

1. 1. This question made me realize a situation in which I'm pretty horribly inept at reading people: 

      When I'm physically/emotionally attracted to someone or romantically interested. It's a huge problem area. And yes it is confusing, and scary, and causes anxiety. It's the area of my life where I'd tend to make negative assumptions...maybe to protect myself from disappointment? I don't know.
      
      It's only when it personally involves me though.
      Check this out:
      I have a crazy knack for reading romantic interactions that don't involve me! This is silly and odd, but I called the whole Jesse James/Sandra Bullock thing just from watching him look at her when she gave her Oscar acceptance speech. I blurted it out because it made me so sad, and all my friends watching the Oscars with me thought I was nuts and teased me about it.
      Then, when his cheating scandal came out a week or so later, all those same friends were calling me and asking me what I thought their husbands/SOs thought of them. haha
      
      I have had several times when I knew that people were secretly dating.
      Give me just a few minutes watching people, and I know who is into who...and who isn't.
      People have asked me how I know these things, and it's hard for me to break it down for them. When I try, they feel that it wasn't enough evidence. (But *shrug*, I'm right after all, which they'll admit.)
      
      But when it involves me, or if I think someone is attractive, I totally blank the eff out. Combined with the fact that I get awkward around people I find attractive, and can't string together more than 2 coherent thoughts, well...let's just say that it can suck.

So this was a good thing to realize about myself, and especially how this affect my Dating Experiment.

Today, I'm meeting a new man on my lunch hour. Just a quick meeting, per Perennia's perennial great advice.

Online Karl:  Well-educated, witty, energetic, artistic. Interesting perspectives, judging from his answers to the questions on the site. I bought some new eyeliner for the occasion! ha


P.S.
I suppose I should say something about Jasper here, but....
I guess I don't understand what happened yet. Maybe I won't ever understand. I'm kinda waiting for him to explain it to me.

So for now.... I have no words of my own. 
I'll borrow from Vonnegut, because I love him and this fits in content and feeling:


So it goes. 

-KV