2012 JOYLIST

Lucas 

20.1 years cool.

 Cat

19.9 years excellent

Midlife Crises and Quests for Love

Relationships

New ones.'
Renewed ones.
Healed ones.
Growing ones.
Educational ones.
Edifying ones.
Painful ones.
Easy ones.
Hard ones.
Enduring ones.
Every one.


My Faithful God

There is no one like him.

School Lunch, Dream Facts, Crazy Endtime Talk, and Maybe a Little Bit of Spiritual Progress

THREE DISPARATE IDEAS that eventually relate ( maybe only in my mind) If this makes sense to your mind, too, and you get what I'm trying to say, I would love if you tell me that somehow. Or if you don't agree. Or any response, really. 


1. A local high school's month has been interrupted several times by bomb threats. The kids are herded to the stadium, entire classes are skipped, and nothing else happens. The police investigate, rumors abound, and no one is charged.

 At dinner last night, a few HS students were discussing another recent event: The HS is collecting biometrics of all students (hand prints) for the purpose of 'purchasing school lunch'. Whether you historically pack lunch or purchase lunch, it's mandatory. Non-participants must have a waiver signed by parents.


 Fascinating: The students understand perfectly. "They know that no one will remember to get that waiver signed by the deadline." And even, "Yeah, suddenly 'a better way to buy lunch' becomes top priority after all these bomb threats. Right."




 2. I read an "OMGFact" that excited me so much:

 There is now technology that can create visual representations of dreams. Supposedly, the majority of our dreams go unremembered. So now, with this device that translates unconscious thought into visible narrative, we'll have documentation.

It could have cool applications for stroke patients or others who have limitations of expression.

 But then I started thinking, "Hey! That's probably not why they want to develop this technology at all." These applications could be very, very cool...unless of course yours is the brain being plundered.



 3. I've joked that the iPhone (what's the i stand for? illuminati!! haha) is the mark of the beast (hold it in HAND, train eye (FOREHEAD) on it) because I've been in groups in which all are fixated on iPhones, and it's funny to me.

 But reality is: the microchip may be coming. It's even....likely, I think.

 They chip pets now. I think they've talked about putting medical info in chips. Why not financial information? Scan your hand instead of a card when checking out? Very convenient.

 I was talking to a person who suggested:

First generation -- Basic data, justification: security for kids, medical info for safety
Second generation chip -- Purchasing power
Third generation chip -- 'Read' thoughts
 Fourth generation chip -- 'Read-write' capability

 He also said something about the write code in some programming language having three 6's.


 What These Things Made me Think About 


 I remember a time when I was engaged in a spiritual battle of a kind.  I expressed frustration that, as a believer, I have to show so much restraint in the way I 'battle'. I can't return certain 'blows', and it's very, very frustrating.  My pastor said simply: "Well, we fight with different weapons."

 The 3 things above make me think about one of God's 'rules of engagement': How he does not usurp man's free will.

 This is maddening to me. He could, he has the power.
He could have killed Hitler in the womb, he could have made rapists impotent, he could have foiled the efforts of the atom bomb inventors, he could make the right 2 people fall in love with each other, he could make the right sperm penetrate the right ovum, and on and on and on.

 I am not really precisely why I have a problem with the above 3 scenarios, but it does elicit something yucky in me (like, a wary response). And I can see that it's a violation of freedom in each scenario.


 So for one little second, I can accept the way God doesn't always intervene in the ways that would so obviously 'fix' a situation.

Force/coercion/manipulation just aren't his style. And it makes sense, of course, because those things violate personal freedom, and setting people free is, after all, his M.O.

Countdown!

It would be impossible to overstate Lucas's excitement about this. He is 20 today, and so this post is in honor of him!

Episode 20 - ADD, the Latest Dates, IRL Possibilities, and the Best Dating Story Ever

Separated by topic, so you can scan and skip!

ADD
Recently diagnosed.
The psychologist was awesome, I could have hung out in her office and chatted all day. Her husband has ADD. She finished my sentences sometimes when I was describing how my life works.

She looked at my purse, and asked questions, and after a very fun (and funny) conversation (evaluation?), she said, in terms of a diagnosis:
"Yes, you are pretty classic. Maybe even more so, if that doesn't offend you."

Interesting:
She discussed some of the challenges that ADD brings to a relationship.
Even with a recently diagnosed son, and even with my tendency to lose days on the internet researching things that come into my life, I have not researched ADD. Apparently, I should.

DATES

Raymond
On the crazy site. He lives in the area. He goes to my gym and has seen me there (uh.....?).
While I don't think there's a love connection, he seems a decent fellow and I see no problem with meeting. Plus the whole local/gym thing, it will be weird if we don't.

We meet at a local restaurant. I feel like a real bar person, I love it. Sitting at the bar (I usually sit at a table) and drinking drinks and talking. He is handsome and fit, he shows me a picture of his Halloween costume (Chippendale. Not the Chipmunks, the strippers). I consider showing him a picture of my pug, but I don't.

He is intrigued by Christian morals, I try to explain the rationale as best I can. I tell him he oughta come to my church. So funny:  He has coworkers who go to my church and invite him all the time. I think, but don't say (b/c it would likely weird him out) "I think you're really meant to come to church, dude."
He is fun; we'll be friends.

Sal

Sal lives almost 1.5 hrs away. We meet in a city about halfway. He is kind, and smart, and gentle, and shy. Introverted. (Turns out he's IXTJ)

Conversation is fantastic:  So far in my dating, I have never met someone who can so succinctly explain really nuanced things: About faith, politics, illness, relationships.

The only thing lacking is chemistry.
My BFF says that chemistry can develop.
I have no idea if this is true, but he is worth spending time with to figure it out. I would want to communicate with him even if we weren't dating.


IRL Possibilities

There are 2 people I am running into IRL who are interesting and attractive and then my sister wants to set me up with this engineer she works with (she knows my weakness for brainy and geeky guys..) and maybe this is the way to go.

My friend just sent me a link to the earthquake tracking site, and I may only have a month and 8 days to get this whole thing done, you know, what with The End hurtling toward us with no regard to my singleness.

The Dating Story to Top Them All

A recently divorced person I know is dating now. Let's call him Everett. Everett isn't doing online, he is doing IRL, and seems to be meeting his dates mainly in bars (which he is questioning as a method).

So, so funny listening to him. His adventures would make a much better blog than mine.

The Best One, in which I honestly LOLed and sprayed a drink all over the counter:

Everett shows up at his date's house for their first outing -- a mutual friend set them up.
They're about to leave, and the phone rings. She answers, and after a few 'uh-huh's" and "yes"es...She starts sobbing uncontrollably.
When she hangs up, she lets him know. Her husband -- who is incarcerated -- had just tried to commit suicide. I guess he was being transported to the hospital.
She seems inconsolable. Everett -- who didn't know she even had a husband, let alone a convict one- is a bit speechless.
But turns out she's actually pretty consolable!! Whew! Big breath-- and she's ready to go! So where're they gonna go?? Perplexed, Everett ....complies...and it's "Chili's sound good?" And off they go!!

The End.

Like I said, my hat is OFF.
I can't even come close.

Episode 19 - Quinn

No.
Just....no.

Not an over-the-top feeler like the Butterfly Whisperer.
No immediate solicitations for sex, like the first one.
Just staring.
Lots of staring.
Sometimes with a slight smile.
While I think of things to say and ask.
Then have to provide multiple choice answers so that he can just choose one.
 Or maybe just nod when I hit the right one.
And then stare some more.

"So, this date is probably...
a. painful for both of us?
b. wrapping up?
c. long over...like, it was over after 5 minutes?"


I GROW WEARY, FRIENDS.

Kikiiiiiii Dates! - Episode 175 - Percy

NOTE: I am blue. Blame it on hormones, barometric pressure, zodiac stuff, who knows. But you will hear a tinge of sadness in this one, and maybe next week I will be back to normal.

Percy  is seemingly perfect:
Smart, accomplished. Practicing, serious Christian. (In my phone, his last name is "Theologian" haha)

His MBTI is INTJ, which is the type that is my PowerMate.
((I'm ENFP. My perfect match is INTJ.  INTJ's are extremely competent, intellectual, driven. It's a well-documented thing that for reasons that are very counterintuitive, we adore each other. And it's a supposed excellent match; people say that an INTJ male- ENFP female couple can take over the world. I think it's b/c they can do anything, and all we do is somehow inspire them to it.))

Here are some other things:

• He is tireless with the compliments. Turns out I may like this.

• He is so gentlemanly:  He explained the paying-for-dates-rationale IN ADVANCE and in a way that made me kinda SWOON.  He said that it's a way of expressing intention and care. And men like to take care of things, and so I'm actually doing him a kindness to let him take care of things this way.
• He knows more than I do about Scripture, which is cool. We can float references into conversation and just know the other person is familiar, so it makes it easier to debate. He's Calvinist, I think, which doesn't surprise me at all.

The Date

Met in a city nearby. He insisted on making it as close as possible to my house. He lives far away (1.5 hrs) and drove the bulk of it.

Turns out we have more in common: we eat very similarly.
And turns out no one is perfect.
Turns out we share some very important things on this first date, and it's going to take some time to process.


My sadness:

It's really bothering me how the Dating World is - ironically - so so so lonely.
And more about it bothers me, but I can't think how to say it just yet.

Year 43, An Assessment

 the list I posted about a year ago , 43 goals for year 43.

I'm assessing myself...yeah, and instead of berating myself for not making some of the goals, they'll just get a place on my List of 44 Things

1. Start jogging again, no matter how slowly or poorly or whatever.  DID THIS! DOING THIS!
2. Make that video about the Birthday Girls (my mom's lovely, lovely friends)  STILL WANT TO 
3. Grow a lot of lavender, and harvest it, and hang it everywhere to dry until the smell of lavender reminds people of my house   HALF WAY -- Grew 3 plants. Need more.
4. log 100 hours of language learning  DROPPED THIS GOAL. FROWNIE FACE
5. Read the Bible, and then some (must-reads spiritually speaking, apocryphal books)  HALF WAY.
6. Walk my dogs regularly.i.e. be a better dog owner DROPPED THIS GOAL. BUT L WALKS THEM SOME
7.  Forgive people, like that Year of Jubilee idea (releasing people from debts) HALF WAY Intentional about several people, but failed regarding some others. 
8. Let people take pictures of me and quit lying and telling them I think it takes a piece of my soul when really I'm just self-conscious (THIS IS HARD TO EVEN WRITE. I don't know about this one.)    I JUST SMILE BIG NOW =) 
9. Dance somewhere at least once  
10. participate in that Write-A-Novel-in-a-Month thing that all my friends do.  HALF WAY BUT JOINED AN AWESOME WRITING GROUP RECENTLY
11. Make scrapbooks of all my 'nostalgia' stuff, even if it doesn't look nearly as good as the Creative Memories people.  NOPE. FAIL. 
12. Go somewhere awesome with my Mom and everyone: like Dollywood or Nashville or something.  FLA!!!
13. Get acupuncture.  JUDY!!!
14. Wear a bathing suit at the beach.  ZOMG I DID THIS. Incredible.
15. create/obtain/whatever it takes to own a treadmill desk.  STILL WANT
16. Cook food and bake food, following Catherine's example (when she's hungry, she looks up recipes and gathers ingredients and plays classy music and actually cooks good food. it's so HEALTHY, in every way.)  MORE THAN EVER NOT COUNTING WHEN I WAS A SAHM
17. Take a class.   STILL WANT TO 
18. will be a GRACEFIEND.  THIS GOAL CAN NEVER FULLY  BE ATTAINED, BUT I AM A BRIDGE AND EVEN TAUGHT THE BRIDGE CONCEPT TO ANOTHER BELIEVER THIS YEAR.
19. Write letters (I kinda started this,but I want to keep it up)  NEED TO PICK IT UP ON THIS ONE AGAIN>
20. either have one of those houses that's already reasonably clean, or quit caring that my house isn't  DID THE QUIT CARING OPTION>
21. Go to 34th street at Christmas time   MUST HAPPEN THIS YEAR
22. exercise my gift (which i believe is encouragement) intentionally, often, joyfully  A LOT, BUT THIS GOAL CAN NEVER BE FULLY ATTAINED EITHER.
23. stretch my imagination to include the idea that guys can be nice and maybe even trustworthy, but you can still be really cautious about these guys and i don't have to pretend it's likely or anything, just possible, like a science fiction story.  YESSSSSS SEE AAG2012 
24. go somewhere awesome with my sister for her birthday  MASSAGES
25. pray  YES, BUT THIS GOAL NEVER FULLY ATTAINED
26. accessorize  FASHION IS IMPROVING
27. manage my RA holistically  YES
28. finish my braces vlog  ONE MORE ENTRY! RETAINER CHECK IN A WEEK.
29. start my new vlog (jabba the hutt) DROPPED THIS GOAL
30. assume better things and act accordingly  YES, OPTIMISM MORE AND MORE
31. read daily NOT DAILY BUT MORE
32. use my commute better USE IT TO SLEEP (POLYPHASIC YO)
33. hang the rita hayworth picture up at work YES
34. hang the rita hayworth picture up in my room  YES and EVEN GAVE RITA TO A FRIEND AND REPLACED MINE
35. start wearing GLOVES as a fashion accessory (hides my hands, looks cool)  NOT YET
36. go to at least 3 art shows (scottie's was wonderful)  Scotties, Film Festival, Aleth's YES
37. start wearing more makeup, like that lady from Pittsburgh encouraged me to  EYELINER YES
38. intercede  NOT ENOUGH
39. write my dreams down NOPE FORGOT ABOUT THIS
40. remember: what i love doing, the joy of my salvation, the good things TRYING
41. my family: start some traditions and actually enjoy the holidays (i was always bad at this...common in circumstances like ours - holidays sucking - but i want to redeem this..i can feel like now that they're grown, it's too late. but it's not..)
STILL SUCK BUT RETHINKING THIS, BLOG TO COME
42. my family: legacy THINKING THIS ONE, TOO
43. love people well  DAILY NEVER-ENDING NEVER-FULLY-REACHED GOAL.

Kikiiiiiiii Dates! Episode 17Neville and Oscar

2 dates in 2 days.
And I'd go out with either a 2nd time!

A visual:

A few details:

Neville

• Brought a very, very thoughtful gift.
• Launched right into a very interesting conversation about online dating issues.
• Old school class: insisted on paying for the food we ate, gave me the 'good seat' at the restaurant, walked me to my car.

I'm growing:  When he first gave me the gift, I was thinking, "You know I'm not going to kiss you...riiiigggght?" But I buried the thought, and just received it and was gracious, and didn't feel like I 'owed' him anything at all.

Plus, he's open in a really nice, geeky way: He told me outright that he knows he's contending with other guys and wants me to remember him, hence, the gift. 

I liked the conversation:  He talks in numbers, percentages, patterns. He's approaching dating (he's new to it also) the way a computer programmer would: systematically. I find that kind of thing alien and super endearing. And actually pretty useful, I have adopted some of that approach myself, to balance my squishy, feelings-based approach of "intuition and gut rules all".

We're continuing the conversation via email and other portals of communication. 

Oscar

• Played college sports! And is kinda humble about it. (He was a kicker, and he's like, "Don't tell anyone that." b/c he doesn't think kickers count as real football players haha)
• Conversation was easy, I can tell he'd make me laugh.
• Gentlemanly, too. Picked up the bill, walked me to my car. Strange coincidence: We parked right next to each other.

We met at a local restaurant, and there happened to be a festival in town, so we walked around that first. We talked about parenting, a little about school.

He's easy to talk to. He likes/plays sports, which at first makes me suspicious because I think it means they're idiots. But he's in IT, computers, so he must be pretty smart.

We both like the Steelers, and one funny thing: Apparently everyone around us was listening to our conversations, and the part about Big Ben was really annoying this one couple. He said they were shaking their heads at us, and before they left, we talked a little bit. 

The date felt short, which is so much better than the ones that feel long.

One interesting thing that came up (on both first dates ?!) :  How do people make things "official" and "exclusive" when using online dating? The very nature of it makes it so so difficult. It was cool to hear that men think of this idea, too. (They are the ones that brought it up!)

Neville said something interesting in a later email : Usually, it's the physical stuff that delineates exclusivity. When that physical stuff is off the table, it makes things a little fuzzier. 

Oscar said that, for him, it's been the biggest problem w/ online dating, and it's something he wants to "work on."

I personally think this (and these thoughts are forming even as I type this sentence)

The issue is having a divided heart.

If it comes time to commit to someone, you have to do so with an undivided heart.

That requires a high character, it requires faithfulness and single-mindedness.

You possess these character traits to whatever degree; it isn't something that is 'inspired' by another person. It's an internal thing.

A faithful person will be faithful no matter who they are with.

An unfaithful person will stray no matter who they are with.

Online dating doesn't MAKE a person unfaithful, it simply REVEALS their character, because it makes it so, so easy to stray, without fear of consequences or judgement. 

The people who can't take their profile down and commit to you when it's time, are the same people who flirt with coworkers in real life, and/or ogle servers in bars, and/or go places they shouldn't go, and/or have affairs, and on and on.

KikiiiiiDates Episode 16: Marcel - Sh*t Just Got Surreal

Words fail. Yet, for the sake of documenting my journey, and for my lovely blogger friends, I will try:

Marcel:  very kind, sensitive, and talented.
The date: After a bit of email, finally synched schedules and met at a bar/restaurant in the area.

Marcel IRL was friendly and courteous and very, very open. Shared very deeply, immediately.
*Here's where I seem like I'm flip-flopping on dating views because I've lamented lack of depth in other suitors.  But hold tight and read to the end.*
I started to feel uncomfortable with the depth. It's a little hard to explain.

It's just...well, I've never experienced so many tears on a first date.

Maybe it was the fact that I'd only had a few hours of sleep the night before, maybe it was the margarita, maybe it's just that my emotional maturity is that of 14-year-old boy sometimes...but,  I had to fight hard not to laugh inappropriately, just b/c I was so uncomfortable.

Every story ended with him pointing out the raised hair on his arms indicating the goosebumps, and accompanying tears. And me being awkward as hell and trying to think of words to say and  maybe eating a chip b/c I couldn't think of anything.

At one point, he was explaining a unique gift he has regarding interaction with animals,  and was describing a time when he hand-fed a butterfly some wine.

Things wrapped up shortly after.

My takeaway from this date: Myers Briggs, this guy's definitely an NF (Feeler). I'm a NF! I like NF's, they're interesting and open and loving.

But for eros love, I prefer NTs.
For instance, I like compliments from NTs because they are so RARE and so SPECIFIC and so HONEST.
I like their logical minds, because they are so DIFFERENT than my mind.
I like how they DON'T CRY.

On the way home, I talked about it w/ my mom, who is an awesome person to talk about dating with, btw.

Me:  I think it's just that sensitive men make me feel like I'm the man. I'm a tomboy!
Mom: (all matter of factly)  No, you're not a tomboy. You're just not a very compassionate person.
Me: ((LOLing for like a whole minute))
Mom: Well, you're not!

#TheTruthHurts  #ButItAlsoSetsYouFree

KikiiiiiiiiDates! Episode 15 Linus

LINUS

Met him at his house because he has the helmet and leather jacket for the bike ride.
((It's a myth that bikers wear those leather jackets to look cool. THey're actually for protection, and because it gets cold on a bike, fast.)) (( Look how far I've come! From taking my kid surreptitiously on Date 1...to just knocking on Date's door of his house! Probably should rein it in before I end up in a trunk, unscrewing their taillights to gesture for help out the hole....))

He is a laid-back, cool guy. He reminds me of the kind of guys who my kids' dad would have hung out with. Plus, don't know if I mentioned it, but he's very physically attractive.

We talked for a while...He was surprised at how trusting I am and I was surprised at how good-looking he is in natural light. He commented a few times about the trusting thing (because I came to his house and was willing to ride with him) (which made me think he was evil, then normal, then evil, then normal. Landed on thinking he was normal.) (Plus I text my mom with all relevant information before, during, and after dates.) (Plus I have a GPS tracking device in my phone.) (Plus I have a decent skill set which I am honing that helps me know when people are trustworthy or when they're not.)

He was very considerate (changed the seat out on the bike so I'd be comfortable, had a route in mind and a plan B for weather, had a good suggestion for dinner. Oh, and was hella cute.)

The ride was awesome, as all bike rides are. We tried to out-ride a little rain, and didn't. Even though it's dangerous, I actually liked riding in the rain. There was a huge rainbow out for the last half of our ride.

We ate dinner at a very unique place in his hometown, and the food and conversation - both great. Oh, and also great - the view of his face from across the table.
At the end of the date, we looked at photos of trips he goes on (he does very cool motorcycle trips to very cool destinations on a yearly basis).

And I'm sure you can hear the "But"...

But there was little depth to our interaction. And it's not our fault, I really don't think it is. It's the faith disconnect I've talked about.  I kept thinking, "Y U NO BELIEVE IN GOD YOU ADORABLE MAN?"
*sigh* Even so, I'd say yes to another bike ride.

KikiiiiiiiiiiDates! Preview of Episode 15

Hey kiddies, possibly an imminent bike ride!!! (Linus the cute and funny one with the blaring difference in belief. Because of the difference, you know that some of my friends are asking, "WHYYYY?" to which I answer "1. Cute and funny. 2. Bike. Duh.")

And maybe it's also a little bit to help me move on from Jasper.

J & I exchanged very brief email,  in which I addressed some hard and confusing stuff that happened the last time we were together, to which he didn't really respond. Well, maybe he did a little. The closest he came was something like, "I hope it wasn't damaging."
Smh at such a weak, impotent apology....Written in the passive voice (No direct "I -verb-ed you and I am sorry.")...
I apologized for my part, and not in an oblique, wimpy way, either.

He did tell me some good personal news about himself. It related directly to advice I had given him from time to time about a personal issue. I was happy to read that. And I also thought about what a moron he is to break up, because I give stellar advice (when I'm certain about something.)

So,  re: Jasper,  I vacillate between feeling super sad, and feeling like, "Pshh. Good luck finding a person who will put up with your unique array of BS."

Usually the second, powerful feelings happen after I am buoyed up by the encouragement:  L&C, my sister, YOU GUYS (Hilldweller!!!), my IRL pals, and of course, mom. I'm gonna spend at least 1/2 mile of our walk talking to Lil Kiki about it today, haha.

And truth is, I am just hurt. I have a unique array of BS myself.
Maybe weird to say this, but I just felt 'right' with Jasper. Maybe that's bad. As Hilldweller says: What if it's providential protection? (Not being with J)
All of it's irrelevant anyway, except insofar as it helps the learning.

So, onward~

I'll let you guys know how the bike ride goes!
Linus used to race, btw!

The perception, it is wrong, mile after mile

This matches my mood right now. #Melancholia

Kikiiiiiiii Dates! Episode 14: Karl and Linus

Still trying to break down the concept of "Chemistry". So elusive!!
Maybe it's a formula?  (Physical Attraction + Connection = Chemistry?)

In "The Main" by Trevanian, there is a young policeman who meets a girl and feels he's in love within weeks. He feels a little silly, and is confiding in his seasoned, gruff mentor, LaPointe.
While it's not his way to disabuse the young man of the notion that he is ridiculous, and so says nothing reassuring whatsoever-- LaPoint does understand and sympathize. (In his mind), LaPointe reflects on how he felt when he met his wife, how he loved her almost immediately.
I remember this line: "How long does it really take?"

I'm finding the answer to be:  Not nearly as long as you'd think. You just have to be willing to be honest with yourself.

Karl

We went on a bona-fide date:
Wonderful event.  Amazing food. Either honestly couldn't have been better.

Karl is smart and kind and interesting.
And yet, conversation felt like work.


Linus

Linus is a new one - There are some (surely dealbreaking) differences, but I want to meet him anyway, and he wants to meet me. So we do.
Linus is:

• Really cute
• Funny
• a motorcyclist!!!!!

Good conversation, even about our differences. 

One very cool coincidence. 

Probably a bike ride in my future, and probably a friend.

Joylist! Sept 2012

1. MY iPHONE
I love it so much I want to take it behind a middle school and get it pregnant.
And it's just a 4.
And I am probably only using it to 10% of its capability.
With it, I:

• Call ppl
• Play Scramble with Friends (I'm good compared to everyone but Cat)
• Play Words with Friends (I'm pretty good)
• Play Draw Something (Surprisingly terrible at this. Poor Miguel (only person I play) )
• Listen to music
• Check all my social media
• Surf web
• Connect to wifi's with ease
• Hold it with one hand and text!
• iMessage ppl w/ iPhones for free
• EMOJI EMOJI EMOJI EMOJI
• Use super cool new apps to get fit: RunKeeper and MyFitnessPal
• Watch how I can prove how I feel, USING MY iPHONE:

2.  Related to 1 but deserving it's own point in this Joylist:
The app called "RUNKEEPER"

It uses the GPS in my phone to track how far I run, my avg pace, how many calories I'm burning.
Then it posts the data with a map of the run, and tweets a link! If I had a 'street team' we could all compete. I'm currently tracking their hashtag on twitter and considering asking random ppl to start a street team. I'm trying to get iPhone friends to use it, too.

My profile:
http://runkeeper.com/user/KikiGetsFit/profile
I can't adequately express how much I love this app. And no, Runkeeper isn't paying me either.


3.  These ppl I used to do Bible study with contacted me and want to start again. Out of the blue, and at just the right time.

4. Orchid highlights.
I got them. Jenni is the best. I still want to do an entry on her alone.
I'm getting such a mixed reaction to them.
Generally, young people and creative people love them.
Conservative people hate them.
I am not sure about how men feel about them, and for right now I don't care.
I think Cat and Lucas like them.
Me? I LOVE THEM.

5.  Here, this will help you when you make unusual hair choices, or just want to be yourself in a sea of dissenters, or are surrounded by d-bags, and probably other situations as well. You're welcome.

Dating Kiki 2.0: Karl IRL

Impression after our first meeting? He's pretty cool.

• Accomplished in his field
• Great eyewear
• We're the same MBTI type, ha!
• The awesome Nepalese barista  at the coffee place knows him! Even took Karl to some exotic place for dinner. I said to the A.N.B, "Hey man, you take your coffee customers to dinner? When is it my turn?"

 ASIDE: 

Just look at how my flirting skills are improving!!!! 

To review:  ANB is that one w/ whom I had an extreme flirting fail earlier this year...went something like :

ANB:  Where have you been! I've missed you! (I'd been at training.)

Me:  (red face, brain exploding) Well, I didn't miss you!

ANB: (puzzled expression) Well....coffee of the day, then?

Me: (nods, avoids further eye contact)

Now just look at me. "When is it my turn?" followed by laughlaughlaugh. Practically asked him to dinner.   #SWAG , middle aged category

BACK TO KARL

We walked around DC for the duration of my lunch break, and then a little more. Time went superfast, even despite the fact that I didn't change out of my heels and my feet really hurt. ((Vanity, sheesh. ))

We are both interested in collaboration, people, personality assessment...that sort of thing.

He told me about a life goal of his that he admitted he's only told 1 other person! I felt very privileged. So in return, I told him an idea of how to keep that goal alive...an idea that I share with relatively few people.

Interesting conversation...and I hope we stay friends....but I'm not sure if there will be more 'dates'. 

#IAmPatheticButHeIsNotJasper  

In the meantime, we're now playing Scramble w/ Friends and Words w/ Friends. ( and I'm killing it, haha, but can't tell if he's just letting me win!)

Dating Kiki 2.0 - Episode 12 - Karl Preview

Pasting here something I posted on a MBTI site. The thread was asking if my type (ENFP - we're know for being able to 'read' people) ever has a lapse in that ability, and how it makes us feel, etc.
My answer:

1. 1. This question made me realize a situation in which I'm pretty horribly inept at reading people: 

      When I'm physically/emotionally attracted to someone or romantically interested. It's a huge problem area. And yes it is confusing, and scary, and causes anxiety. It's the area of my life where I'd tend to make negative assumptions...maybe to protect myself from disappointment? I don't know.
      
      It's only when it personally involves me though.
      Check this out:
      I have a crazy knack for reading romantic interactions that don't involve me! This is silly and odd, but I called the whole Jesse James/Sandra Bullock thing just from watching him look at her when she gave her Oscar acceptance speech. I blurted it out because it made me so sad, and all my friends watching the Oscars with me thought I was nuts and teased me about it.
      Then, when his cheating scandal came out a week or so later, all those same friends were calling me and asking me what I thought their husbands/SOs thought of them. haha
      
      I have had several times when I knew that people were secretly dating.
      Give me just a few minutes watching people, and I know who is into who...and who isn't.
      People have asked me how I know these things, and it's hard for me to break it down for them. When I try, they feel that it wasn't enough evidence. (But *shrug*, I'm right after all, which they'll admit.)
      
      But when it involves me, or if I think someone is attractive, I totally blank the eff out. Combined with the fact that I get awkward around people I find attractive, and can't string together more than 2 coherent thoughts, well...let's just say that it can suck.

So this was a good thing to realize about myself, and especially how this affect my Dating Experiment.

Today, I'm meeting a new man on my lunch hour. Just a quick meeting, per Perennia's perennial great advice.

Online Karl:  Well-educated, witty, energetic, artistic. Interesting perspectives, judging from his answers to the questions on the site. I bought some new eyeliner for the occasion! ha


P.S.
I suppose I should say something about Jasper here, but....
I guess I don't understand what happened yet. Maybe I won't ever understand. I'm kinda waiting for him to explain it to me.

So for now.... I have no words of my own. 
I'll borrow from Vonnegut, because I love him and this fits in content and feeling:


So it goes. 

-KV

Dating Kiki 2.0: Observations

WARNING:  This is pretty tl;dr, but whatever.

My bff Cindy told me this months ago:
"There is nothing like dating to help you learn how effed up you really are." 
OK, I'm paraphrasing, but this was the gist.

Because "Reflection" is the better part of "Learning", I'm going to take the time to blog about Things I Am Learning As a Result of Dating Kiki 2.0.

I've been thinking really hard about things like:

• my Must Haves and Can't Stands
• what exactly is a Red Flag
• What Constitutes a Dealbreaker.

Naturally,  I'll be channeling Liz Lemon, inspired by this video
So I'll organize by talking about 3 Dealbreakers from that video, in reverse order:

DEALBREAKER ONE -Distance


Sue: And I'm here in New York while he's back in Holdskj;jfa;oijfa.
LL:  Long distance is the wrong distance, Sue. Dealbreaker!



Online dating has this one downfall. (insert laughter. Yes I know, it has a billion downfalls, but this is one) You get matched with ppl who live far away. And you'd be surprised how much that drive/distance can affect things. It feels like a work commute.
There are a million articles about 'long distance relationships', but generally, people agree they rarely work. And for those that work, it's not like anyone LOVES them.

So for me, long distance *is* the wrong distance, Liz Lemon,  but it's not quite a dealbreaker. I'm still in the (delusional?) mindset of thinking that people can be intentional, and overcome this obstacle.  And part of that overcoming would include eventually lessening that distance.

DEALBREAKER TWO - Selfishness

Paula:   Pete is refusing to drive to my parents house for just 2 weeks of family vacation!
LL:   No to the way to the Jose!  But Paula,  talk it out before you walk it out.


Here's the thing. NO ONE THINKS THEY ARE SELFISH.
And here's the other thing. BUT ALMOST EVERYONE IS.
And if you're in my age category and have been living by yourself for a while, multiply by 50.
So I know this is all about degrees of selfishness.

I also know that I have relatively low expectations in this department. I, for instance, don't think men should always have to pay for dates. My bff Cindy and I have argued talked about this at length.  WHile I still don't think men should always pay, I do agree w/ her that I need to raise my expectations. (Like, I feel bad if they have to drive far to see me...why should I feel bad? I'd drive far to see someone I liked...I'm worth a tank of gas...Sheesh. Cindy is right. Probably about all of it.)

So I'm thinking now that I need someone who wants to spend time with me, is willing to go out of their way for me, wants to bless me, etc. And then b/c I'll be cared for, I will be so be very free to focus on them, blessing them. It'll be a big..blessfest....of love.

So I'm mostly agreeing with Liz Lemon on this.

DEALBREAKER THREE - Infidelity

Angie:  I just found out that Tracy has a secret credit card that I knew nothing about!

LL:  Not on my watch, biootch!

Angie: And he's been using it to pay for a hotel room in NYC two days a week!

LL: S that D. Shutitdown. Dealbreaker.

We all know this turned out alright, Tracy was just tired. But I'm realizing that 'fidelity' is a Must Have for me.  And the corresponding effed up part in me is 'jealousy' and 'suspicion'. Call it insecurity, call it psychosis, whatever...but I do tend to sniff out signs of infidelity and run with it. Blame it on MBTI, blame it on my hellish history, whatever. (btw, if you knew half of it, you'd think I'm doing a pretty terrific job.)

Online dating is maddening, btw. The very nature of online dating makes commitment near impossible. 

You are seeing people pop up everyday. You are shopping. You want to get the Best Deal. You can have buyer's remorse when you settle on one. And by "You", I mean "He" (too). 

Also, I suck at things like "The Are-We-Exclusive Talk." I have all these awesome, mature thoughts in my head, but what comes out is nothing close. I often don't understand the outcome, either. A phrase will rattle around in my head until I can't even imagine what he meant by it. ((theoretical example.He might say something like, "I can't not like you!" Even after you work out the double negative, wtheck does this mean?And when you're trying to have a reassuring thought late at night and you're tired, you can see how "I can't not like you" doesn't exactly soothe, right??))

But at least I'm learning about my need for this. And I'm learning how poorly I express that need. 

And I agree with Liz Lemon on this one.

Never be so ...infatuated, swirly, whatever, that you ignore this kind of red flag.

 S to the D. Shut. It. Down.

So again, who knows where Acquiring A Gentleman 2012 will lead? I mean, the whole point is for it to lead to a gentleman, but EVEN IF IT DOESN'T, I am learning so, so much.
As my son asked me, "Why didn't you do this 15 years ago?" 

SOTD

Sisters of Mercy.....childhood nostalgia.....this song is speaking to me I think

Kiki-a-go-go: Why the Ocean is Magnificent

I get to go to the ocean very, very soon.

I'm a different person at sea level for myriad reasons:
I breathe easier (no allergies?),I move well (sea level is good for RA?)...but it's more than just physical.

Near the ocean, I am simultaneously calm and thrilled ...it's the best feeling.
Clear head, optimism, ideas flowing, and so much vibrating energy to act on all of it.

Now -- on to the post!

Reasons Why the Ocean is Magnificent by Kiki

*Disclaimer: I offer no scientific data to support any of this, these reasons may only make sense to me haha

 1. Water 
Being around all that water, all that oxygen..Breathing feels different.

2. Water, part 2
The salt in the ocean water makes it even healthier. I like to just be in the ocean, I can feel all that salt water healing me. (( I have a dream of floating in the Dead Sea someday.))

3. Size
Being near something that I can't see the end of...does something to me.  This aspect is responsible for that great combination of peace and excitement.

I have this idea that it's because I am getting a sense of the power of God. (I get a similar feeling when I learn about stars/space. Interesting that people with all different belief systems are drawn to the ocean..I've heard people talk about mountains in this way.)


I predict a future post: Why Does Kiki Not Just Live at the Beach (YOLO, etc)?
:)

Joylist! 2nd one of August 2012!

1. New shoes

In the pair on the left, I am almost 5' 4". That's not a typo. I tower over my barefoot self.

2. Soon, this will exist in my bathroom:

awesome vessel sink
don't know about that faucet tho

3. Hmm. I want to watch this. The director is named Cronenberg, but it's not the one you're thinking of. This guy is really young.

4. Dinner with Kelly and Josh and Rachel and Becca and Ben. Chinese Year Calendars and MBTI and talking too loudly and pretending to plan for the year and fun.



5. Future

except not the bangs. been there, done that.no bangs for me.
but yes to the umbrella, and the whole snowcone thing.
DETAILS TO COME.

joylist! (aug 1 2012)

1. More highlights at the end of August!! Contemplating adding COLOR!! #MLCCV

2. SPICY BLACKBERRY MARGARITA
a. Make the jalapeno tequila many days in advance. To do this, seed and chop jalapenos and put in     tequila. I used the tequila with the big chicken on the front.
b. Add 1" each of : the tequila, 'triple sec', soda water (I bought blackberry flavored), 'sweet and sour mix' (I skipped this b/c of all the sugar. My friend Diane bought this crystal light stuff. The blackberry flavored soda water seems fine to me. what do i know, though.)
c. Pour this over 'muddled' (bartender word for 'smooshed') blackberries
d. Straw. ENJOY SO SO MUCH. Blackberries + jalapenos = unlikely great combo

3. special friends and how they can instantly improve your day sometimes  >>>>>>

4. I GET TO GO TO MY MOM'S BEACH PLACE FOR THE FIRST TIME IN YEARS

5. Finally, this little bit of awesomeness

Dating Kiki 2.0: Thoughts on Dating from two awesome Moms

((from my personal correspondence w/ Carol =) re: dating/boys/love/etc))

"My mom never really talked about dating with me, but she did give me some nuggets of goodness along the way. 

1.  Just because he's a great guy doesn't mean he's a great guy for you.  Don't force it.  Don't feel like you have to try to make it work just because

2.  When it is right, seriously, you will know.  It will be easy and you will be surprised how easy it is to be together. 

3.  The question is never if you can live with someone...it's always if you can live without him."

((From my old myspace blog. EE is a writer who I love to death. The mood thing is just something myspace did back in 2007.))

Current mood:chipper

Elisabeth Elliott's mama had two bits of advice regarding guys:

1. Never chase them.
2. Keep them at arms' length.

She was voted the Spoon Girl at her university. I think that means that this advice must work.

11:11 PM

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  • 
    kiki

    The Spoon Girl was like getting voted Queen of a dance or parade or something.

    5 years ago
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    

Ravi

Another old myspace blog entry circa 2007.

And the comment is from the same Shannon who comments on this blog. Her comments improve/help me better understand everything. Note: She does this IRL for me, too. I wonder how many miles we've walked (around Centennial Lake, around neighborhoods)  so that we could poke and prod and draw out and correct and affirm some idea or another.

Prediction: Shannon will actually try and figure this out using logic now, and give an estimate here. And that estimate would probably be within 10 mi. or so.

Prediction 2: Shannon will cast doubt on my uncanny ability to predict things b/c I wrote it here, so it appears to be a challenge or that I gave her the idea. But if you're honest with yourself, Shannon, you will admit that you were thinking of a figure before you read the first Prediction. BE HONEST GEEZ. Now the blog.

RAVI

I love Ravi Zacharias. I love his ability to preach, I love his massive IQ, I love how he always talks about the movie " Chariots of Fire", Cissy and I  love how when a word ends with "s" he draws it out, for example, "Jesus Christ (dramatic pause) died for our sinssssssssssss."

I wanted to put an awesome quote here. But it's about 3 paragraphs long. And Cissy complains my blogs are too long to suffer. I want to summarize below: (C. is probably already clicked out of this by now hahaha)

It's this idea that Christians need to differentiate between our opinions and our convictions. Our opinions need not be foisted on anyone. And even our convictions--every conviction we hold should be undergirded by love.

He says that, without the undergirding of love, the possessor of any conviction becomes obnoxious, and the dogma believed becomes repulsive to the one who disagrees with it.

Jesus, of course, is the ultimate example. Instructing, convicting...loving.

12:10 AM

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  • 
    Shannon!
    

    In honor of Cissy, it is my aim to post a comment LONGER than your original post!  :)
    
    I see our own brand of post-modernism in this.  Just remembering that we will be wrong on something...I suppose we will probably be wrong in our convictions and our opinions. (hmm...how can one be wrong on a conviction?  Does that mean it doesn't come from God?  Do we call things convictions that in fact are opinions? But this is not where I was going.)
    
    And then of course I think of fundamentalism, defined as the idea that if you don't agree with me on what I say is important, I will hate you.  (This has the appearance of greater civility, since it used to be "If you don't agree with me, I will kill you."....but hate=murder)
    
    I struggle with fundamentalism...I'm working on praying more like the sinner and less like the Pharisee...
    Ooops...I think I'm stopping too soon...so sorry, Cissy!  :)
    

    ... Show more

    5 years ago

AAG2012: Refining My Wishlist

Another post from my old myspace blog (about 2007). Not bad, pretty rational thinking on my part!  


5 Reasons Why I Want to Marry an Assassin....

Current mood:awake

....or at least have one as my best friend and roommate.

This post was inspired by Perrin, who wrote about the Bourne Trilogy. I, too, only saw the Bourne movies this summer. And I felt pretty much the same way about them as he did. And putting aside the moral dilemma sorta inherent to his job, here is my list of 5 reasons why I would like to be married to an assassin:

1. You'd never feel scared at night. Or  anywhere for that matter. As C. has pointed out, Bourne could eliminate any threat with, say, a mechanical pencil. Or maybe a paper clip. Or a piece of dried up gum.

2. Related to 1, if I had Bourne in my house, I could get rid of Nick!!! No more emptied garbage cans! NO more dog hair!!

3. You'd always be able to find your car when come out of Walmart. (He'd know where your car was, plus all the license plates of every car around it)

4. Any messy or stressful situation you could possibly create, Bourne would figure a way out of it. (So, Kiki? You over-commited AGAIN on Saturday? You've made, how many plans with various family and friends? 15?! Well, OK - here is how we are gonna handle it...)

5. He'd be fun to play around with and get to lighten up. Assassins seem like they're so SERIOUS all the time!   

I honestly think I could help 'round out' an assassin's personality.  Without, of course, taking any of the edge off their lightning sharp reflexes/killer instinct sensibility.

It'd be a balancing act, I know. But I'd be willing to work that out.

7 Reasons to Decide that Mondays are Actually Great

I wrote this for someone I know who hates Mondays.
Posting it here because, well, it's a pretty awesome list and my Monday is getting off to a shaky start  (Woke up late, woke up feeling fat, my clothes look dumb, curled my hair but it's humid and so curls died and hair looks dumb, the bus was late, I slept through my stop, I had to walk extra to get to work. Bright spot: Someone asked me if I "still ran that moonbounce business". And turns out I have a twin who runs a moonbounce business. Then got a little down b/c I wish so much I was scheduling fun events and testing moonbounce units all day.)

If I did run a moonbounce business, you better believe all my units would be awesome  like this  Stonehenge one

Anyway, I can use the reminder today. So, on to the Seven Reasons:



1. Newness: new day, new week.....new attitude. You get to make a fresh To-Do-List. A great day to start a project: diets, resolutions, journals, whatever.

2. The commute is a little quicker b/c lotsa ppl use Monday for their AWS day.

3. Everyone's a little more forgiving on Mondays, b/c they're battling dread, too.

4. God probably likes to surprise ppl w/ good things on Mondays, b/c He likes doing things unpredictably.

5. It's really typical to complain about Mondays. Who wants to be typical?

6. You get to process/reflect on the events of your weekend.

7. It's a good day to use your haptic mind.

Note: I think this is the wrong word. But here is the concept:
I learned this from one of my photo professors. She was talking about that kind of thinking you do in the shower, or on a run, or while driving a familiar route. Something takes over and does the task at hand
(showering, driving, whatever), and so frees another part of your brain to think peripherally about other things.
She said that oblique thinking (not bearing down hard to 'come up with ideas') yields the
most creativity. She called it using your haptic mind.
(But as I looked it up, the word 'haptic' seems to mean something else. Or maybe the haptic mind is actually the part that does the boring/repetitive task on auto-pilot. Like 'muscle memory', but it's the brain.
Or maybe she said a different word. Or maybe she understood this concept, but assigned a random word to it. WHO KNOWS.)

Anway, I totally get this idea. I do this all the time...almost always have peripheral, oblique thinking going on and especially when doing routine, mundane or repetitive tasks. And I can't just quit calling it haptic after 20 years just because it's the wrong word. Unless someone tells me the right word for it.

Moonrise Kingdom

Five times, with five different people/sets of people.
Nothing but goodness...no diminishing returns with the repetition.
Each time I saw new things, and the new things just reinforced my (already strong) feelings.

How can I begin?


Visual goodness


Like all the really great movies, any framed still could grace any wall in your home and make it a more beautiful place.


The color palettes are perfect: More and more I noticed the colors. Primaries, but all complementary. Some patterns thrown in. I could mute the sound and this movie would still excite me.


The details make my heart ache:  The bird design on the tent, the pictures on the wall, the costumes for the play, the book covers, her outfit, his outfit, the way Social Services sits, the wallpaper, really everything in each room in Summer's End, Suzy's handwriting, the dog that looks like the dog from my first reader (Tip!), the list for the decoy papier mache Suzy. I know from Kevin and some of the credits that Wes Anderson designs/commissions all of these details himself. Knowing that it's intentional makes me pay even closer attention, and makes me love it all even more.


Everything is visually congruous:
I don't know how to write this. I am purposely not reading ANYTHING because I wanted all of these ideas to be what I truly felt just from watching and then talking with my friends.
Christine called it 'complete-ness' (see Idea Goodness, later) and it's the same visually: everything matches, everything goes.
One example:  The sunkissed and hazy quality of the film when they're jumping [maybe the lens is vaselined? Not sure} Well, it matches the french song they later dance to, it matches the day itself. I feel like I'm drying off in the sun when I watch it.
Another example: Each character kind of has their own aesthetic - how they dress, the exterior shot that lets you know we're at their house...think Captain Sharp.
Obviously I need to write about this more and edit this, I know this is all very dim...But I can just see that everything is visually congruent in this way.










Word- Goodness

The dialogue is perfect: Precious without being cloying.
Startlingly funny.And believable. The precociousness never goes into that Juno-territory where you don't believe they'd really talk like that.


Mean Kid: Well if we find him, I'm not going to be the one who forgot to bring a weapon.


Suzy -I've always wanted to be an orphan...they have the most interesting lives.
Sam - I love you, but you don't know what you're talking about.


Suzy: Was he a good dog?
Sam: Who's to say?


We could arguably continue, citing the entire script, in snippets alternating italics and bold. That's what I mean by perfect.



Theme Goodness 

The theme is perfect, too. There is the way that the purity of the kids is a perfect contrast to the effed-upness of the adults. Sue told me later how, in a way, the kids' situation redeems the adults...again - in a small way.


There is thematic 'completeness' /congruity, too. Even elements: Dan pointed out that Benjamin Britton, who wrote a Young Person's Guide to the Orchestra (the soundtrack) is also who wrote the Noah's Flood play in which Sam sees Suzy for the first time. We know there is a purging flood at the end, too...I know there is more congruity, too. Naturally, I need to watch it a least 100 more times.


The theme that resonates with me is the "outsider" theme. If you know me at all, you know I'm drawn to the margin. The disenfranchised, the lost, the outsider -- these are the people I feel the most at home with.


Also, as I said, I have purposely avoided reading others' opinions about MK. Kevin said that people criticized Wes Anderson for being too idealistic in his solutions for people who are 'outsiders' -- saying that things never work out this way in real life.


I guess I feel like he does such a fantastic job at defining the problem, that I don't care if the solution is feasible. It's like watching Inglorious Basterds -- things didn't really turn out that way, but it would have been wonderful. (And the truth is, art does change things. So there is some truth in it.)






Sam: Why do you consider me your enemy?
Mean Kid: Because your girlfriend stabbed me in the back with lefty scissors!
Sam: She's my wife now.
Mean Kid: Congratulations.
Sam:I'm talking about before. Six weeks ago. Why didn't you like me then?
Mean Kid: Why should I? No one else does.


That explains the problem perfectly, but it's my blog, so I'll expound:
The whole "Outsider" thing actually starts when someone is free, for whatever reason.
Simultaneously, weak or unoriginal people herd together usually under the leadership of the smallest-minded, most unoriginal one.
The free ones, the ones who don't feel the need to join the herd are threatening to the leader, and thus the battle-dynamic is created. The small minded creates it, the free one is bewildered at first but then has to negotiate it.


So yeah, he does a fantastic job at defining the problem. And I think would be wonderful to stab all such ringleaders in the back with lefty scissors and thus free up some of the herd. (And truth is, challenging the evil norm does change things. So there is some truth in it.)






FINALLY,
the last part.
And which Sue is going to let me write about on her blog!!


Maybe because of AAG2012, maybe because I'm an NF temperament, maybe for other reasons, the aspect of the movie that made my heart clutch up in my chest and leaves me speechless a little, is what I will call:


Sam and Suzy and their Resounding Yes to Each Other

Sam:  This is our land!
Suzy:  YES IT IS!






I've been thinking about what I want. Online dating forces you to do this, with all their forms and MustHaves/CantStands and what have you.
One online suitor was even helping me figure it out.


I resist making the list. I saw a post recently on FB from a very nice young lady, saying how she wanted a man with 'the wisdom of Solomon, the courage of David, the kindness of Boaz, the _________ of _________" and how she wasn't going to settle for less. I recoiled inside, and thought, "The man that does end up with her has my sympathies."


I also know that I don't know what's good for me, not really. I've picked men because of their curly hair alone. I'm not even kidding. I trust my N (intuition) more than I trust my logic.


So even as I was watching this movie the first time, it was dawning on me...by the end, I knew:


This is what I want. Exactly.


They are so affirming to each other. Think of the letter exchange: She encourages him to keep remembering what his parents look like. He encourages her to get along with her family.


Think of their first meeting:  She conforms to his plan, he considers her in every step, they are so *courteous* to each other.


He shares something he's ashamed of:
Sam -I might pee the bed later...I didn't want to offend you.
and she affirms him
Suzy- Of course I wouldn't be...
And I bet he won't pee the bed much anymore.


She shares something that hurts her:
Sam: Is that book about you?
Suzy: I think so.


He doesn't understand, and laughs, and hurts her. She's mad, and right away, he apologizes. Better than apologizes.
Sam - I'm on your side.


There is a lot more to say on this, but I'm saving it for Sue!
I'll just close with that idea, though.
They are so *for* each other, and it's completely mutual. When they're journeying, their marriage, when they're about to jump at the end. 


That's what I mean by the "YES", and yes, I want that.