Always a fun discussion:
[Assuming we're not meant to be single]
a. Is there a person out there in the world meant for each of us?
ONE, SINGLE, person? So our quest is to find them? Or recognize them when they find us?
OR
b. Is nothing really pre-ordained, or 'meant to be'? We are frighteningly free to choose anyone who'll have us, and live it out.
OR
c. Is there a pool of 'potential destinies', and depending on timing/choices/circumstances, any of them would be 'best'?
Each is kinda terrible:
a. If I have one soulmate, I blew it. Because I married Mike, right? And if my SM *was* Mike, then it's still messed up forever b/c we split and he married another person, thus messing up her shot for The One. It's a miserable domino effect scenario.
b. I take 5 hours to pick a paint color that I might have to live with for a month. It's taken me 2 years to decide to dye my hair. And that hasn't even happened yet. This kind of thing is why I used a Magic Eight Ball to make major life decisions until my early twenties.
c. This middle road is the one I can live with. I just want a little guidance, OK? Just some assurance.
Guidance so that I can dodge bullets and navigate through minefields.
Assurance that, at the end of all the bullet-dodging and minefield-navigating, there will be something of worth.
[btw, it's a gigantic assumption to assume you're not meant to be single when you're my age, etc. but this was for discussion's sake. We'll give Singleness and all it's merits/struggles its own post sometime]
About Me
- kiki
- Luctor et emergo means "I struggle and emerge"......a long time ago, this woman told us all to be open about our need, real about our struggles...."Struggle is a sign of life-" she shrugged when she said it, as if reminding us of something we should already know...you know, the whole don't-crack-open-a-cocoon-to-help-the-fragile-emerging-butterfly-because-the-very-work-it-takes-to-open-the-cocoon-is-what-makes-him-strong-enough-to-fly idea.
2 comments:
Spamming you with my unsolicited $0.04, as usual. I could write volumes about this subject... I will try to keep it brief. :) After several loves, two divorces, and a stormy relationship with the guy I consider to be my soulmate (or karmic torture partner, you decide), I am no longer sure of anything! To be a total bummer, I am not sure I will ever be able to trust or truly love again - just too many bruises and scars. And broken illusions. Years later, my heart is still "imprinted" with the soulmate guy, so even though that's over it kind of feels like since I've had that relationship, nothing else will ever measure up. That was my guy, it didn't work out, so here I am. I am strangely OK with it. I puzzle over that a lot. As a Libra who has spent nearly her entire post-puberty life involved with someone, to be placidly single for years is weird.
So I have come to believe that our soulmate is the person we have huge karma with over lifetimes, and that this can many times be a relationship that just doesn't work out. It's too powerful, or something. The timing is off, someone is too old, too young, too married when they meet. This is not my theory - I did a lot of online searching about the soulmate concept - but I agree with it. The other notion is that these torrid, ill-fated relationships are "karmic" relationships, people we have business with each lifetime that we work through. Maybe my guy was karmic. Either way... I am pretty over the The One concept. This makes me sad. But as you know, I am a long way from joining the Forever Alone team. :) I'm 38, odds are someone will want to sleep with me again at some point in the next 50-odd years that I plan on living, so I won't rule out a relationship entirely but I have major reservations.
How's that for fun?? :D
On the other side of the argument is my friend and astrology queen Jessica Shepherd. She has written a fabulous book called "A Love Alchemist's Notebook" all about finding your soulmate (but she means it in the good way). Check her out! This book gave me a lot of hope for having a good relationship again.
Oh, oh oh oh oh
That's what I said when I read all this...recognition sounds, you know?
I UNDERSTAND the imprinting on one's soul thing...
Oh yes I do.
And we can join the FOrever Alone team, but only together, which would make it funny and ironic.
I have much more to say to you, but I will stop for now.
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