DK 2.0 - Episode 3 - Clarence

This episode could be called  "29 Points of Compatibility? Please."

Pre-Date:
I initiated this one by sending Clarence this charming thing [the online dating service I chose] calls an "Icebreaker". Kinda like the old Facebook "poke", it's just a pretty meaningless gesture that says, "It's too much work to compose an original thought, I'll just pick this phrase from this dropdown menu."

We skipped all the canned questions (e.g "How much personal space do you need in a relationship?") and the Must Haves/Can't Stands (laundry list of traits you check off, all are kind of obvious), and long questions.... and so we tried to gather the necessary information through the site's email.

While I feel I am very open and clear in communication, others seem to think I'm guarded and evasive. *shrug*. So, because in person > online, we discuss meeting irl.

Took Perennia's advice: coffee date.
But HE DOESN"T DRINK COFFEE. (28 points of compatibility?)
Tea date?
Tea date.
He also likes to 'plan in advance'. (Plans panic me. 27 pts of comp.), so we actually have to make this plan for DAYS IN ADVANCE. I flex, go me.

The Date

He drives the longer distance to meet, which is very nice of him. I arrive first, it's a poetry reading. Which is cool, except the guy is doing that Taylor Mali piece about teaching, and for some reason it makes me sad.
Then Clarence arrives, and it's one of those things where someone is even more appealing in person than online (instead of the other way around).
We get our TEA, and sit. Talking is pretty easy, he seems really experienced with dating generally.

We notice how different we are, and think it's funny, and so everytime there is a blaring incongruous thing, I count down another Point of Compatibility. Which he pretends to think is funny.
We're down to about 18 or so when we decide to walk around.

PERENNIA:  You're going to call me out on this. I DIDN"T END IT AFTER AN HOUR. He was cute!! And we were so adorably incompatible!! haha

We honestly just walk around and basically, well, loiter.

We talk about a lot of things, I suspect (as I do with a lot of people) that he's not over his last relationship. He says something insightful that I will have to think about: My long history of not-dating is unusual for people our age. Everyone I meet will likely have a recent (by my def, in the last 15 years haha) relationship...Acknowledging that doesn't mean that they're not over it

We're down to about 5 points of compatibility. I decide the claims of this online dating service are complete BS.

At one point, we walk to a gas station to get snacks because I was so hungry. It felt oddly like high school, or something...eating string cheese on the brick stairs at 2 AM...

It is completely, ridiculously late, we walk back to where we were parked.
Hugs, a cheek-kiss. (Not me, I wish I were classy like that. I seriously want to be one of those awesome women who kiss everyone on the cheek, when they first meet and when they leave and all time time. But I'm not. At least not yet.)

My takeaways:

1. Physical attraction muddies the waters:  We could have had zero points of compatibility and I still would have sat with him on the library stairs and eaten mozarella.
In fact, we probably DO have zero POCs and if he asked for a second date, I'd probably say "OK!"

((I probably should make it a point to only date people who aren't appealing to me. No I shouldn't. Yes I should. READERS, HELP.))
2. It's a lot harder to write about dates that aren't terrible.